The Value of Validation

Families and partners of clients often want to know what they can do to best support their loved one, particularly if that person is immersed in an intensive therapy like DBT. One of the most useful and under-rated skills that families can learn to master is the skill of validation. Validation means acknowledging that a person’s response makes sense in some way; it’s finding the kernel of truth in another’s perspective. Validation does not necessarily mean agreeing with or liking a particular behaviour, emotion, thought, belief or opinion (in this way it links nicely to the skill of radical acceptance). What validation does do is demonstrate that you’re listening, that you care enough about the other person to be willing to put yourself in their shoes, and also highlights that they are not crazy!

Validation is a highly effective first step in resolving conflicts, be they between friends, partners, families or even within organisations or countries. Validation helps to defuse explosive situations and to get people unstuck from rigidly thinking that their own perspective is “right” (which is invariably not effective behaviour).

Like all DBT skills, it’s possible to get a sense of the truth and likely utility of a skill without in any way knowing how to do it. At DBTBrisbane we’re very keen to skill both clients and families up to validate eachother effectively. If this is a skill set that you would like to learn we encourage you to make an appointment with one of our team members. A single session teaching how to validate can be transformative!